Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
