pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
