my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
