Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
