I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
