We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She told me I should be a condom model.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
