If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We got so high we made milksteak
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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