420 ftw
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
