sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
soo... how was my night?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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