The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My life is pants optional.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
