It's Friday. Sex?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
