i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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