the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
