Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
