margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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