God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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