So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
