You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
