Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
