How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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