I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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