and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
