I should be sponsored by Trojan
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
