I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
