The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
