I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize