You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
