And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Are we still banned from the library?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
