Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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