so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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