I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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