But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
