I bet he comes in French.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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