He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
