I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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