i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
