My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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