just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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