And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
