So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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