why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
