That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
that is very illegal...i love you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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