does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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