Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
