this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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