dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
