I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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