i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
