this beer tastes like vomit already
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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