He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize