Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he puts the penis in happiness.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
