You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
