I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My vagina just recognized that song.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
