I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
