I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
