Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
