he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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