oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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