I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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