He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
