is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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